Friday, 1 August 2014

I Want This To Be, My Awakening

Cuz with the morning comes the rest of my life. Cuz with the morning I can open my eyes.

I feel like I am once again at that point where the path has faded and I am left staring at the trees. So much is ahead but so little is visible. All I know is that I have to go forward. Forward into the unknown. The ground feels unsure beneath, a reminder that I have to stand on my own two feet. That it is time to be sure of myself because there is little else to be sure of. I cannot live in the comfort zone any longer. It feels like it is pushing me out. Forcing me to make these choices. To move forward. Onward. To grow, to feel that pain of growing, only overshadowed by the fear of the unknown.

I suppose I needed this more than I thought. Needed to move on. To get out. I had a plan when I moved back. I would float through exams and start my career and feel accomplished. I never imagined that those exams would become my mountains. That the accomplished feeling of success would come from marriage. And from a job I only have because one time I made a robot video and won a contest. One robot video and 4 years later and my life is entirely different than I ever imagined.

This is what I need though. To move on. To open my eyes to the realities and to take opportunities. To let go of all the self limiting beliefs I create for myself and to just be. To breathe in life, to stress less and to actually take the time to do what I love.

Not getting everything I dreamed of just might be the be the best thing that has ever happened to me.

At least you know I still care enough to write.

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