Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Your Lipstick, His Collar, Dont Bother Angel

I had a perpetual list. It was re-occurring and never ending. I was continually trying to remind myself what I was looking for. What was important. What qualities matter. A list that I would ignore more blatantly than expected. I knew what I wanted but I never went for it. Perhaps I didnt want something real. I chose people with qualities I surely did not want in order to give myself an out.

Now that I am old and married I look back at those necessities. Some things were a given. Religion. Respect. Male. And some seemed less important to others, like sharing the same taste in music. This one seems less relevant. It is the most relevant.

My writing has always had a strong basis in lyrics. Lyrics often missed. Gone unnoticed and unacknowledged. And I spent a long time trying to convince myself it would be okay if my partner didnt know Houston Calls and TBS. If they would never want to listen to my music or go to the concerts I lived for. I was wrong. 

Last night we went to see TBS and The Used. Bands from our High School Era. Their beginnings in our lives was monumental, they shaped our memories. Their disputes fueled my passion. I had a playlist devoted to the songs that John, Adam and Jesse wrote about each other. Their angst provided songs for my "I Hate You" mix cds. So as John was on stage near Adam my husband and I discussed how John came and went and the fires fueled. We related to the days of Straylight Run while John was on his own. And we sang our hearts out. He didnt just accept how important the concert was for me, he shared in it. He held my hand and bought me a band shirt and thrived with me.

Lists often include qualities that are unrealistic. We paint pictures of partners that are impossible to find. Yet when we find the one we realized what really did matter. Sharing the same taste in music really did matter to me. 

I never said I'd take this lying down.

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